Stop asking life for permission to have what you want

Do you ever think you have no purpose in life? You feel trapped by everything you need to do, and you’ve stopped wondering what you want. At one time you had dreams, ambitions, projects that were lost in the repeated and monotonous gestures of everyday life. If you look back, you see that young woman who had hopes for her future and you think ” poor naive!”. Because he did not yet know that life, real life, is made up of responsibility, bills to pay, children to take care of, time reduced. Real life leaves no room for existential questions. And what good would that do? Right now you can’t even stop to take three deep breaths, let alone ask yourself what your mission is! So, your dreams ended up at the bottom of a drawer, set aside for when you have some time and attention to devote to them. Meanwhile, life is flowing.


If I know you a little, you are probably a woman who lives nourishing in her heart the hope that, sooner or later, she will have a revelation and will understand what the meaning of her life is. Just to be clear, it will never happen that one day your mission will ring the bell of your home showing itself in all its splendor and redeem you from a shabby life, to make you live an existence full of meaning. Even if you know it won’t happen, you feel at a standstill, you’re frustrated, and you keep secretly wondering if you’ll ever get your chance. Sometimes you feel apathetic, the days follow one another all the same, you tell yourself that life can not be just this, there must necessarily be more. But you do not know what and how to do to find that meaning that escapes you. Sometimes you tried: you changed aspects of your life but there were always obstacles between you and your goal. And you ended up back where you started, holding a handful of flies. Every now and then you have momentum, you would like to try something new but you lack confidence in yourself. What can you do, then? How can you discover your mission and find the courage you need to jump?


The first thing to do, and also the most important, is to become aware of your intrinsic value. In most cases, all the times you put your dreams aside and do not give weight to your desires is because, deep down, you think it’s wasted time. You are very judgmental about yourself and feel that following your dreams is both naive and putting your needs ahead of others and selfish. This is because you were educated to cultivate the belief that pleasing the people you love and satisfying the needs of others – in personal life as in the workplace – is the best way to live for a “good girl”. If you can question this belief, and you see your value untangled by the actions you do or the opinion that others might have, here’s what really matters to you can finally emerge. You do not need to prove yourself, lavishly for others, or get the approval of those around you. If you lived your life by giving you permission to be curious and explore, don’t you think you would stop looking for the hidden meaning of existence and pester yourself because you live a life without meaning?

To give us permission to follow our passions and to give space and listening to our dreams, we seek great ideals that justify the time we want to devote to them. So the frustration you feel in living the days that all of you look like is not so much in not being able to find the meaning of life, which is an abstract idea, as in the inability to allow yourself to dream, to give voice to what you really want. That’s why asking yourself what the meaning of your life is, waiting for your mission to manifest itself as a ray of light that suddenly flashes you, is an excuse behind which you hide so as not to take responsibility for living the life you want. Try to embrace your intrinsic value: how would the terms of your research on the meaning of life change? When you can perceive your intrinsic value, which is independent of your actions, you can begin to see life as a succession of meaningful experiences in itself and stop looking out of yourself in search of the approval of others. You can, that is, give life the meaning that it has for you and be sure that it will be fine.